We give you the Soundbite City team's inimitable tour of the place that gave the world a host of modern artists and intellectuals and most importantly, 147 different varieties of tomato bread.

BARCELONA - Soundbite City. Give us three minutes, and we'll give you 24 hours in the capital of Catalan cool. We take you from dawn till dawn in Barcelona. Starting at 8am: you breakfast alone, no one gets up before 11 o'clock here. At 9am you can go back to bed. 11 am: wake up again, then head to the Picasso Museum. It houses over 3000 paintings, some early doodles, and some colourful later stuff. By midday: enjoy a well-earned blue period.

Picasso Museum. 15-19 C/Montcada (Tel: 319 6310) Open Sun-Tues.

Now the football scores; Barcelona … 3, Surreal Madrid … Fish.

Barcelona cuisine: Barcelona offers great tapas and tomato bread. To make tomato bread, take some dry bread, a clove of garlic, and one over-ripe tomato. Did you know there are 147 different varieties of tomato bread in Barcelona? (Cue tomato splat!) 148. ("If I hear one more time from another Ingleesh who wants to try every type of tomato bread on the menu, I'll kill myself".)

La Rambla stretches from the glistening Mediterranean to Tibidabo. In the 80's this was the most pick-pocketed street west of the Pyrenees.

Barcelona Dinner Party Survival Tip No 43. Do say: "Café Solo"
Don't say: "Espresso, pronto".
Do say: "You must see the Rothko exhibition at MACBA".
Don't say: "Has anyone been to the Museum of Erotica?"

MACBA (Museum of Contemporary Art). Placa des Angels 1 (Tel: 412 08 10). Open Tues-Sun.

1pm: Take a walk to Barceloneta for lunch. It's ideal for conspicuous promenading and paella. 3 pm: Go home for siesta, or if you're on a tight schedule skip the sleep and take the teleferico cable car to Montjuic.

Barcelona must see: The Museum of Shoes has over 150 different types of shoe. There are celebrity shoes, big shoes, diamond shoes and in fact, it's the largest shoe collection west of the Pyrenees.

Museum d'Historia del Calcat, Placa Sant Felip Neri 5 (Tel: 301 54 33). Open Sundays.

Champagne or Cava is Barcelona's favourite tipple; it's cheap, sweet, fizzy and only £2 a bottle. For a tasting try El Xampinyet in the Gothic quarter or Can Paixano in Barceloneta.

El Xampinyet. C/Montacada 22 (Tel: 319 70 03)
Paixano. Reina C/Cristina 7 (Tel: 310 08 39).

Next we're off to the cathedral cloisters. This is a tranquil spot, well known for its trickling fountains and equally famous geese.

Cathedral Cloisters. Cathedral de Barcelona. Pla de la seu (Tel: 315 15 54) Open daily.

Must See: 'Snowflake', the Albino gorilla in Barcelona Zoo

Barcelona Zoo. Parc de la Ciutadella (221 25 06)

Dinner Party Survival Number Tip No 45:
Do mention, "George Orwell, Salvador Dali".
Don't mention "Gary Linekar, Manuel from Fawlty Towers".

In the 1990's, like Madonna Barcelona re-invented itself … Transforming from bawdy port to design hothouse and like Madonna Barcelona also discovered the value of a gaudy make over. Oh, I'm sorry that should be Gaudi. Ah yes, the vegetarian architect who was run over by a tram in 1926. Think of funny shaped buildings, scaly rooves, Hansel and Gretel meets Abbot and Costello. See also Parc Guell and Sagrada Familia.

Parc Guell. C/ d' Olot. Open from 10am daily. Sagrada Familia. Placa Sagranda Familia-C/Mallorca 401 (455 02 47) Open daily.

La Polama is the legendary Barcelona dance hall. There's a 1950's Latin big band on stage and on the dancefloor, there's hairspray, large handbags, colostomy bags and pacemakers. You can even see the old people snogging. ("Nobody kissed me, I asked in English and Spanish and some quite good German, but nobody kissed me.")

La Polama. C/Tigre 27 (301 68 97) Open Thurs- Sun.

At 5pm: There's late shopping at El Corte Ingles. At 6 pm: It's time for tapas at Bar Celta. At 7o'clock: There's coffee liqueurs at Café de l'Opera. Then 7.30pm: Pastis at Bar Pastis. At 10'o'clock hit the clubs: Banana factory, Zsa Zsa's, Torres D'Avila and Bikini. Dance until dawn and then: The perfect stroll along the beachfront to the Olympic village or stagger home with a takeaway tapas.

Bar Celta. C/Merce 16 (Tel: 315 00 06)
Café de l'Opera. La Rambla 74 (Tel: 317 75 85/302 41 80).
Bar Pastis. C/Santa Monica 4 (Tel: 318 79 80)
Banana Factory.C/Fusina, corner of Passeig Picasso.
Zsa Zsa's. C/Rosello 156 (Tel: 453 85 66).
Torres D'Avila. Avda Marques de Comillas s/n Poble Espanyol (Tel: 424 93 09)
Bikini. C/Deu I mata 105 (Tel: 322 00 05).

So that's Barcelona: champagne addicts, albino gorillas and too many shoes. You've been listening to Soundbite City: twenty-four hours in Barcelona brought to you by Radiosites.